wakey wakey eggs and

neilnordegraf:

sin

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

What I say: “I’m touch-starved.”

What you think I mean: “I need a hug.”

What I truly mean: “I need someone to platonically lie across me with their full weight, crushing my body and providing deep pressure until my errant soul is reabsorbed into my flesh. Also, a hug would be nice.”

I’ve had to explain this to people who think it’s weird, but when I add, “You know… like cats…” they seem to understand.

peraltasass:

the most unrealistic thing about friends is that phoebe never punched ross in the fucking face

quasarden:

Shout out to Spider-Man PS4 for having one of the best fake social media feeds

ladyyatexel:

indigobluerose:

ladyyatexel:

Sick brain says: “… does fire have weight?”

Husband is chemist and he says the gases that react to make the fire have weight, but the fire itself is energy and therefore does not have weight as we measure it.

cold medicated brain thanks mister indigo for his service